Alex’s Neighborhood

Maddy: Mom, am I going to after school care tomorrow?
Me: No, ima pick you up in car line.
Maddy: Ah, man. Then I won't get to play with Cade.
Me: Who's Cade?
Maddy: My boyfriend.
Me: Oh really?
Maddy: Yeah, but he doesn't know it 'cause if I told him, he'd get all nervous and stupid around me and then I wouldn't like him anymore.

It feels like a Friday and is gonna really F me up when I have to go into work tomorrow (I took the day off to monitor Moshi). But, with any luck, I'll get all the work caught up and won't need to go in again over the weekend.

I haven't been able to talk to the vet yet (they have employee training till 2p) but I'm sure I'll catch up with him this afternoon.

Boo & Espressa are still in full freakout mode. Boo has been hiding since last night. I'm pretty sure I know where she is. Espressa is hissing at both Moshi & Boo, now convinced that all other cats are evil. When she comes up to me, Espressa talks & talks (unusual for her) but I have no idea what she's trying to tell me.

Moshi is looking much better today. I got him to eat some snackies last night. Still not much but better than nothing There was some paranoia, later in the evening, when I heard a loud yowl from the back of the house. Boo came running out after and I'm still uncertain whether it was Boo reacting to Moshi walking into the same room, or Moshi in pain while finally peeing... on the carpet (and it was a LOT and, again, very dark - which is bad but maybe normal at this point?). I cleaned up the pee, set my old featherbed in another corner, and Moshi went back to sleep.

Later in the evening, he came into the bedroom and drank some water (yea!) then made quiet little cries till I lifted him onto the bed, thereby causing Espressa to hiss like crazy and head back up into the top of the closet (her fav hiding spot). Moshi slept with me for the rest of the night.

This morning Moshi looks much better. His eyes are wide open and he's walking around more. He cried to go outside but I didn't want him taking off so I wouldn't let him go. Around noon, figuring he's more used to peeing outdoors and it's good for his mental health, I blocked the exits and finally let Mosh into the backyard. He did a little wandering, sitting, staring, and (the last I saw) settled in under the house. I won't be remotely surprised if he figured out an escape route and is actually trolling the neighborhood. So long as he comes home, that's okay.

I have been trying to put on a brave face. But seriously - registering with Macy's has been a nightmare without end. Where do I even begin? Oh, I know...how about with them selling my personal information to God knows who...

Of course, I checked the box - the "Don't ever contact me. Don't ever sell my information. In fact, forget that I ever existed after you send me my shit" box. Despite this action, I immediately began receiving suspicious spam emails, emails from Macy's beseeching me to come into one of their stores and order more, and PHONE CALLS from them on my cell phone with recorded messages requesting the same.

WTF? What happens to the people that don't check the privacy box? Then there is the matter of shipping. They only offer UPS, which means I have to be home to sign for it. I am NEVER home to sign for anything EVER. My postman respects this - he leaves my shit by the door. Not UPS. With UPS, you have to be there. Therefore, I have been inconvenienced by attempts at catching my delivery person, and OF COURSE, they do not offer Saturday delivery, and OF COURSE they do not offer the option to pick it up.

So, after the barrage of spam in my inbox, letters, and phone calls, I am finally married. Soon after, more spam followed, letting me know that not everything was ordered on my registry and that if I wanted to go into a store, I would receive a whopping 10% discount on my purchase. Because I have no time - I decided to purchase my last remaining set of silverware online, sans discount.

Don't even get me fucking started on the silverware. Initially, I registered for four settings. My online registry claimed three were ordered. I received two sets in the mail, and waited for the third to arrive. And I waited...Finally, I called Macy's Customer Service, battled through the phone tree (approx. 10 mins), and spoke with a customer service representative. She looked it up and informed me that I purchased the third set for myself, though she couldn't find a record of that or credit card information. There was a glich somehow - that suggested I bought it - but I didn't, and that was that. No explaination - no apology - no suggested resolution - no correction made on the site. Nada.

Because I'm a sucker, I decided to just buy the frickin' thing (for real) and be done with it. I entered the card and received an error message, informing me that I had entered an invalid card number. I absolutely did not enter an invalid number and as a result of my frustration I hit "cancel" to end the transaction and be done with them.

Guess what? Yup - the transaction appeared on my card. It is still "pending" several days later...so, are they sending it? Are they not sending it? Your guess is as good as mine. I guess I won't know until I get another sticker from UPS informing me of a missed delivery it may take weeks for me to catch.

Finally, I asked my honey bunny to purchase the last remaining set with a Visa giftcard we were given, because I could not deal with these assholes anymore. Unfortunately, he was too busy with work & school (my poor boo), so this morning I decided to bite the bullet and end this thing. I registered the card and was ready to use it, just like a regular Visa credit card, for those who don't know.

I logged onto the Macy's site, went through the ordering process, entered the card and was given the message "invalid card number." AGAIN. I called Macy's Customer Service AGAIN. Went through the ordering process AGAIN and finally was informed - for no fucking reason - that they cannot accept a Visa gift/credit card as payment, only IN THE STORE can you do that. No apology. No explaination. Just can't.

I officially hate my silverware. It is a reminder of this debacle and I won't be able to enjoy it. From now on, I will take every opportunity to warn future newlyweds against Macy's. My biggest regret is giving them any of my business, much less registering exclusively with them. Worst of all, I have the sneaking suspicion this is far from over. There may never be an end to the spam trail they've put me on.

Had I known what I would endure for some fucking flatware, I would have insisted we eat with our hands.

After George W. Bush "won" the 2000 and 2004 elections and the U.S. entered the Iraq war, I became very disillusioned with American politics -- and went from being a politics junkie, to not following it at all.

After the Clinton fiascoes in the late 90s, I also went from being a supporter of their Camelot and a big Hilary fan.... to, not so much.  I question some of the decisions she has made (even in picking a mate).  But also, I think her tragic flaw was always taking a bigger risk on him than she did on herself.  (Enough material there for a whole novel! :) )

But I digress.  Fast forward to 2008.  It's impossible not to admire Obama, his impeccable political and leadership instincts, his courage, and his voice.  He is the secular One a lot of Americans have been longing for (and not even along party lines - these days I call myself a little d "democrat", similarly disillusioned about the party).  I wanted to see Hilary in the leadership chair.  Her losing candidacy this year still embitters me a bit, because she is still competing with stereotypes and restrictive ideas about women and what's possible.  But she also needs to get on with it, and there are ways in which, everyone, I think.... has a hard time with her because she gets stuck in the past and is less uplifting than angry...  She will be better in the future, I think.  Her political career is definitely not over, not by a long shot, and her performances this week cemented that.  And, I think both Clintons are being good team-players because at this point they are effectively campaigning for Chelsea.  (If they don't get behind Obama, and he loses, they will be blamed.  And then, bye bye Clinton political dynasty.)  Hilary will grow a lot in the next few months, politically and holistically.  I'm excited to see what happens.

So anyway, end of commentary.  Biden was fantastic.  Bill Clinton was fantastic also (but that's more to be expected.)  Barack is a rock star...  It will be so interesting to see how the Obamas get mentored by the Clintons (it has started to happen already) and offer those hard-won lessons from a more naive time.  Of course now the stakes are much higher.  But the Democrats are better prepared.  The Clintons in every way paved the way (from Hope, to the Camelot imagery, to the very fabric of the narrative of Obama's political ascendancy) if Obama wins in November.

If you haven't seen the speeches, they are here with some favorite Biden excerpts below.  Enjoy!

My schedule isn't looking good for next week. In fact, if I weren't on medication, I'm sure I would be rocking in a corner somewhere.

To do:

1. Complete Wuthering Heights for Monday, as well as two critical essays, response, and prepare for presentation in class.
2. Complete Poetry reading, response, and prepare for presentation in class.
3. Complete reading of five short stories.
4. Complete MLA assignment, read half of Lynn book.

Because I am a super scheduler, I have everything mapped out that makes this all necessary. However, yesterday, my hubby tells me I need to get everything done by Saturday night because he has planned a surprise that will take me away for all of Sunday.

If you know him, or know anything about him from what I post here on Vox, you know that he never does anything like this. EVER.

I'm excited to death but I also don't think it's possible. There is simply no way I can lose that many hours in my schedule and still complete everything I need to complete. We're talking 12 hours of a perfectly good day.

I have no idea what t do. I need the break but I can't afford the time. I need the quality time but I can't afford to get behind. He's been patient and wonderful since the semester started but I know it's starting to wear thin.

Good hell. Such is life.

I'm not a mom, and I haven't been a student for years.

So I guess in some ways, I owe my job for letting me hang on to a feeling I always kind of liked - that "back to school" feeling. I was one of those students who always adored it - the coming of fall, the buying of school clothes and supplies, the meeting new classmates and teachers and finding out what my next year or term's classes would be like. That hopeful sense September brought of starting something new and exciting began for me in middle school and carried through college.

In college, there were always at least two starts a year, in fall and spring. But somehow, that "back to schoolness" never carried over into the beginning of the spring term. It was tied to September the way Christmas is to December or Halloween is to October, at least in my head.

When you work in a college, you still get that feeling, even if you don't have children of your own and you aren't slinging a backpack over your shoulder yourself. Campus is often seriously quiet in the summer. Sure, we offer classes. But it isn't a regular term, so instead of having thousands of students milling about there a just a few hundred spread out over the day. On a decent-sized campus, that can feel like a ghost town sometimes.

There's a downside to this for the worker-bees. In the summer, people can be late to work and still grab a primo parking space. Forget that in the fall. At lunchtime in the summer months, you can go to a food vendor and grab a slice of something without waiting in a line of more than two or three people. In the fall, you start remembering to pack a lunch again, because if not you'll spend your whole break in a line.

But for the most part, the good outweighs the bad. You can't help but be energized in that sea of new faces, most of them there in search of ideas and dreams. The hopefulness, nervousness, excitedness and promise seem to permeate the air you're breathing sometimes.

This year is a little different. In the past, at least part of my job has involved working directly with students. I've been in the role of advisor, helping them select the best courses for their situation, and an administrator who helped them resolve more bureaucratic problems. So during the first two weeks of school, those hopeful and sometimes frustrated faces were standing in my office doorway, day-in and day-out, nonstop. It was often overwhelming, but there was nothing better than having someone come in frustrated and close to tears because of some annoying circumstance that new students face, and having them leave reassured and ready to focus on new courses and new friends and all the things college SHOULD be about.

This year, I'm removed from all that, because the project is too intense to spare me for any of the customer service work. Most of the time I'm glad of that. But this time of year, I get a little twang of regret about not being in the thick of things.

Still, when I walk across campus for meetings or to check in with the "home office," I am surrounded by the newness. A girl who looks about 14 but MUST be college-age timidly asks me where a certain lecture hall is, clutching her schedule in her hand like a lifeline.  A guy in a baseball cap who looks like he just got out of bed but is practically bouncing on the balls of his feet anyway wants to know how to get to Financial Aid. And on it goes as I make my way through surroundings that are so familiar to me I could navigate them in my sleep, but to these newcomers are confusing and strange.

I was 26 when I started working at the college - just a few years older than the seniors and younger than many of the non-traditional and grad students. Now, at 38, I could easily be the mother of any of the freshmen and sophomores. Back then, I blended into the crowd and most took me for a student myself (of course, back then we also had a very lax dress code too!). Now, I look like someone who knows what's up. They just know I either work somewhere on the campus, or maybe think I'm a professor.

It's weird.

My friend Sully is off work this week. We became friends back in college, and he stills holds a nostalgic love for the place. To me, campus has become "work." - that's one of the downsides to getting a job where you went to school. To him, it is where we grew up and had more fun and adventure and mischief than we ever would again. He comes up to campus to grab a coffee and soaks in that feeling, and as I meet him for a quick break and we sit outside and drink our javas, I look at the students milling by and wonder which of them are at that very moment walking with a new friend who will become their "Sully," someone who will still be a brother-like friend when they are creeping up on 40 and have been through jobs and marriage and children and possibly divorce or other hard luck, or maybe amazing good fortune.

Then I notice that almost all of them are talking on cells or texting as they walk. And I realize that unlike Sully and I, they will never know a college experience where most students didn't have access to this kind of instantaneous conversation with EVERYONE. They will never know college without the internet and texting and cells and IM.

And in some ways, I think they're incredibly lucky to live in this age where they set foot on campus having already had so much information and communication at their fingertips. I think they are light years ahead of where I started.

But another part of me feels bad for them. At 18, they already have the shackles of instant communication that make it so easy for your life to be one of constant distraction and interruption and to-do's. That comes with the territory of being a grownup, and will happen to them out of necessity soon enough. I hope that having it now doesn't mean they won't experience those long hours I did of reading fiction with a small circle of classmates by a pond, focusing on nothing but the books in our hands and the blades of grass under our butts and the sun in the sky, because the outside world couldn't touch us until we got home to our voicemails. I hope it doesn't mean they won't spend hours and hours talking in the campus coffee shop or at the pub with that classmate who will become an amazing friend, so focused on each other's thoughts and experiences that everything else fades for just a while. Can people still do that when their phones vibrate with a new text every 5 minutes?

Back to school makes me think about everything, in a circular but somehow hopeful way. I love it.  

Moshi is soooo happy to be home!

Boo and Espressa, once again, are hissing/growling/hiding over his return - not sure who he is and/or reacting to his "vet smell".

Moshi has done little more than lay around. I wasn't concerned about that till the vet called, about an hour after we left. He apparently wanted to talk to me but the techs didn't know that and let me leave. He said that Moshi still hadn't eaten and there's still concern about his recovery (I learned that this is more often fatal in males than females). They released Moshi not so much because he's okay, as to let him get away from the stress of the vet's office. He wants me to call in the morning with a progress report.

Other than being extremely tired, and not moving around much, Moshi looks fine. I got him to eat a little - but very very little. Every now and again he lets out the saddest quietest little meow, which frustrates me because I've never heard it before and don't know what it means. We took a long (2 hrs) nap together. I got up, hoping he'd follow me to the living room, but he's staying on the bed

Tired but happy to be outdoors

btw, you do not want to know what the bill came to. Or maybe that was just me. It was substantially higher than I expected.

1. Everlasting.
2. Intimidating.
3. Thought-provoking.
4. Timeless.
5. Complicated.
6. Refreshing.
7. Bothersome.
8. Nurturing.
9. Sparkling.

Mosaic_Words

1. Death

2. Imaginary Garden Labyrinth at nightfall

3. Minutes

4. Sugar Rain...................Sugar Snow

5. Love XOXO

6. water-moon

7. The Phantom of the Indifference

8. Day 27/365: Two years

9. Untitled

So recently (and I guess in the past) I have noticed that people who do not go to college tend to complain about people who do go to college looking down on them, as if the formally* educated think everyone else is beneath them. I realize this may the case with some formally educated people. But for the most part, I really believe that those who are formally educated are pretty accepting of the fact that school just isn't for everyone. In fact, some of the most successful people I know are only rockin' a high school diploma.

I'm one of those people who adores education, but that's because I really like the entire idea of the educational system. I have this thirst for knowing as much as I can about particular subjects and for the most part, the best place to gain that kind of knowledge is in the classroom. There are other areas of interest in which I know a classroom is not necessary for knowledge.

Why does there have to be this battle between the "educated" and the "not educated?" And who came up with those terms?! Why does a degree signify education?

My sister dropped out of high school her senior year. A year later, she got her GED. Right now, she makes more money than I do. She'll continue making more money than I do. Why? Because she's in a business that brings in a ton of money and depends on her sales skills in order to be successful. It's not unheard of for people to easily pass 10 grand over to my sister whereas I have a hard time getting people to give me a dollar. She has a pretty good way of summing up our two lives: I'm the nerd and she's the business woman.

I often wonder if the formally educated who complain about those who do not go to college and those who do not go to college who complain about the formally educated are not simply insecure...if they don't envy those they are complaining about a little.

Why, if you are settled in your life and happy with your decision to go to college or not go to college, even make it an issue?

That's all lI know. I called at 10a for a check up and was told, "The doctor said Moshi is ready to go home today."

YEEEAAAAAAAA!!!

I'm leaving work after my last meeting from hell, 3pm, to get him. Unless I can figure out a way to skip the meeting (it's just gonna piss me off and I'm liable to forget to keep my mouth shut), in which case I'll leave at 2.

did i mention... YEEEAAAAAAAA!!!

Thanks, everyone, for the good juju!