I always assumed that at some point in the wedding planning I'd have a massive row with my parents. I never thought it would be over the cake.
I actually can't bear to go into the details again and it's all irrelevant now as we've finally decided to go for fish all round instead of trying to produce another £10,000 out of nowhere to pay for kosher for everyone (thereby avoiding stressing out over the number and kind of cakes). We weren't going to originally as one of the bridesmaids claims such a violent allergy to fish that the smell can set her off. However, she assures me that she can take preventative medicine and should be okay. Obviously, we'll feed her the veggie option...
120 people.
1 hotel in Oxford.
2 nervous breakdowns.
Ashley has been fundamentally, absolutely, magnificently, overwhelmingly amazing. He helps, he calls, he fends off his mother when she gets too enthusiastic and pelts us (lovingly) with phone calls and emails, he mediates between me and my (loving) family and then he clambers into bed with me and night and asks me, brow furrowed, if he's doing enough to help with the planning. And I helplessly laugh at how much he understates his contribution and resort to writing online articles about the anti-male attitudes of the wedding industry and the impossibility of reasonably priced kosher catering.
Meanwhile, said allergic-but-not-that-allergic bridesmaid is kvetching because it's so 'far' out of London (45 miles), while one of my future m-i-l's friends is disappointed because he doesn't get to make the expensive and awkward flight from Boston. Another bridesmaid is having serious family issues that is making her unsure whether she can accept being a bridesmaid... I am more worried about her than the arrangements but anyway it's still early to get the dresses. I'm going for chocolate brown, so we'll need to wait until nearer Autumn.
It's December 14th this year, by the way. I'm still having trouble with the whole concept of having a boyfriend, but I figure around the time we get married it'll sink in.
Yes, I know how that sounds. But after a succession of non-relationships lasting all of 25 minutes, I didn't have anything approaching a proper relationship until long after everyone else I knew or had heard of. That was a disaster, and Ashley, as a friend, helped me get over it. I 'fessed up to an attraction to the boy wonder, but he insisted he had to be with a Jewish girl and didn't think of me that way. I did tell him he was in love with me several times before he realised it in a fit of jealousy when I was on a date with someone else...
Anyway, since then we have fallen deeper in love with a playful intensity bordering on insanity and given that we talk through everything, are horrifyingly honest to each other and treat each other with love and respect, we figure we have as good a chance as anyone - if not better - to make it work.
But I'm still flummoxed by the idea of anyone loving me because I was so very convinced (so very stupidly) that no-one ever would.
Oh, and I have a new job. More on that another time!
To the Greeks and Grecophiles, Kalo Pascha; I hope your egg won every time.
I have one of these on my finger...
It is an Elsa Peretti Swan ring that I saw and rather liked on the Tiffany website... I believed JB - who henceforth has decreed that he shall be known by his real name which is Ashley - to have taken the afternoon off sick but in fact he was making our flat beautiful and covered in flowers.
The ring was concealed beneath a cereal bowl on the balcony.
WEASELS!
This is one mainly for the Greeks and Greek-speakers among you.
Greek sayings transliterated into English are a joy, and when JB overheard my mother saying something that sounded funny, he asked me to translate it. He has subsequently learned to say "eki pou klani i alepou"* every time someone asks where something is.
Now whenever we see foxes running around West London, he starts demanding "pou klaneis?!"** of them. Ultimately, though, being a designer, he had to show his feelings visually...
You can take a guess as to what it's saying.
* "Where the fox farts."
** "Where do you fart?!"
