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I know it's incredibly lazy to just put a list of what's going on in my life on a blog. But this isn't a usual blog for me. It's not work, it's not talking about work and it's not professional in any way. It's me letting stuff out that might make me explode if I bottled it in, making friends with a bunch of nice people and occasionally making lists so that I can remember What I Was Doing When or What I'm Doing Next Week.
I hope you forgive me for that. For all I know, you actually like it. Oh weirdos, my weirdos.
Anyway, this is stuff that has been happening:
- I've been working lots
- I've been breaking in the world's most painful pair of hiking boots because instead of losing my extra 10lbs, I've gained another 14 on top. And been lazy.
- I've possibly started a novel. They usually go to Hell around the time I start talking about them, so that's the last I'll say unless I get to 10,000 words or something. (My record is 6,000 I think. Or maybe 4,000).
- Ashley and I have come up with an idea for a kids' book and half-written it and failed to do any more.
- I've been reading Howard Jacobson. He's dangerously insightful.
- I've been failing to write for BitchBuzz very much, but will do better.
- I've been playing with kittens, which is cool.
- I've been trying to catch up with people I haven't seen in ages.
- I've been going to social media brainstorm stuff (more of that on the "talking about work" blog)
- I've been making plans and dreams and schemes and changing them rapidly all the time, as per.
What have you been doing?
Stuff I did today:
- 10:36 "Tim" on the BlackBerry with the Macbook - turn the volume on your voice and your fucking laptop down. #passiveaggression #
Hell, I didn't even know she had lived in England for a few years. Shows how much I expect names to define nationality; stupid given that I have a Jewish surname now.
Of course, I'm always a bit of a rubbish Christian, and not just about symbolic things like Lent. I have serious problems with stuff like forgiveness (not with the concept, with the practise) and not speaking ill of people. Although I won't use the word "hate" about a person anymore. It's just bloody difficult to show love and compassion all the time, as you probably all know.
It was Catholic Shrove Tuesday (aka Pancake Day) yesterday, and is Ash Wednesday today, the start of the Lenten period. People traditionally give something up so as to learn to appreciate the luxuries and gifts in their life, and in mourning for the death of the Son of God. Usually it's something like chocolate, mostly because they've gained a few pounds or need to get rid of their acne, but who cares as long as it's done with a positive spirit, right?
It's different for me. Partly because Lent hasn't started for the Greek Orthodox Church yet (different calendar which results in Easter always being the weekend after Pesach as the Last Supper was a Passover meal) and partly because we have a set pattern of Lenten sacrifice to follow. There is a fast, which basically amounts to no meat, fish or animal products with the exception of certain seafood (roe, anything with ink instead of blood, anything without a backbone). There are certain days on which it's relaxed, and days where you're encouraged to eat fish (Palm Sunday and Greek Independence Day, for example), and some also leave out olive oil, although others base the fast on it. You're also supposed to limit the amount you eat - three simple meals a day, leaving the table a little hungry.
My family has only ever done this fast for Holy Week. I usually whinge about it, although perhaps not as much as Ashley whinges by day three of Pesach, also known as Chag ha'atziot - the Festival of Constipation - because of the lack of fibrous foodstuffs. But this year I thought briefly about doing it properly. And dismissed this idea feebly as too difficult almost straight away.
It is pathetic. I am angry with myself. I know perfectly well that it would be spirtually and physically beneficial to me. I know that it's not the be-all and end-all of being a Greek Orthodox Christian either. But I'm still really annoyed with myself.
What a privileged Western wuss I have become.
Going to university has long been seen as something the privileged classes do, but anyone who has actually been will tell you that privilege does not necessarily confer maturity. You might be doing to responsible thing by extending your education (or *whistles innocently* delaying your entry to the real world); it doesn't, however, follow that you are a mature and sensible individual.
One might think that seminary is a little different. That seminarians are people who have been called to God and are therefore imbued with a certain inner confidence and commitment that the average student might not have. After all, they're facing not just six years of learning and teaching, but the overt pledge of their entire lifetime to God.
Sadly, it's just as possible to be horrendously immature and embittered even at seminary. Through an annoying combination of events, we missed going to the theatre last night, but instead caught up with a wonderful friend whom I don't see often enough and who is a Catholic seminarian. He is also an ex-merchant banker who has had a pretty full and varied life. Having sampled whatever he felt was right at the time, he now knows for sure, at the age of 29, that a life in God is the right path for him; it's the process most should follow. Living in the 'real' world first is the only way to know for sure that calling really is a calling and not just running away.
Sadly, many of the boys he's training with are just that: boys. They're either very young physically and therefore running full pelt into the priesthood without being entirely certain that's where they should be or very young emotionally and too allied to the inevitable politics of every single institution populated by people. That one trainee priest should see himself as 'holier than thou' to another priest is deeply depressing: what is Christian about this embittered lack of compassion, this righteousness that has become self-righteousness?
It was sad to see D so worn down by this, and he has made the only logical choice anyone in a situation they can't do much to diffuse can: stay the hell out of it. He's throwing himself into a very enjoyable placement and focussing on the people who are in this line of work to help others and glorify God. These are things that come from love, and the pure love that exists between all people is the soul of the seminary - or should be.
I do hope this new resolution to stay silent during the petty arguments lends peace to him. D (who wrote and recited that wonderful reading at our wedding) is one of the best people I know. I'd say God is lucky to have him on his side, but really it's us to whom the gift has been given.
Stuff I did today:
- 15:35 Thought for the day: Is it passive aggressive to complain about passive aggression to anyone other than the passive aggressor? #
I've noticed a recent rather bizarre trend for saying "thank Darwin" instead of "thank God" if you're an atheist. This is baffling for several reasons:
1. Surely you shouldn't be thanking anyone?
2. No-one knows for sure whether Darwin was a believer or not. All sorts of stories are told about his belief and I think it's only fair to assume he was agnostic, and questioning. Which is fair enough, really.No-one expects anyone not to have questions; even the Pope has suffered doubt, I'd stake my life on it.
3. Proving the theory of evolution is correct - which no-one has precisely done, but I believe it to be pretty much as close to fact as any scientific theory can be, and absolutely subscribe to its claims which suggest a figure of God far more interesting than someone who can just snap their fingers - does not prove God doesn't exist.
4. Darwin's theories claim the Bible is not literal. Okay, I'm cool with that. Proving the Bible is not literal does not prove God doesn't exist. It does raise some valuable questions about religious doctrine, but let's not confuse God with a structure maintained by people.
5. Darwin would have been horrified by his theory being turned "into a religion". In fact, he said so himself.
If you don't believe in God and religion, why the pre-occupation with it? Why consciously attempt to take a statement that's lost quite a lot of it's actual religious value and subvert it? It's quite bemusing, really. Ashley has been known to exclaim "Jesus!" with surprise, and has never sat down to think "oh, I must shout 'Moses!' instead because I'm Jewish".
How about just not mentioning God if he's of no interest to you? I'm not offended, and you can do and say what you like, but I guess I'd pick a more fitting figure than Darwin if I were going to go to the trouble.
Thank Dawkins - he'd probably appreciate it.
I've been a bit quiet recently, following my policy of not writing unless I actually have something to say. But I have been reading your posts, fair friends. Indeed I have, with my lurky tendencies.
I've also been working on this. Okay, so Ashley needs to totally redesign the boring header but I needed a little area of my own online and I'm going to work on developing it. I won't stop blogging here; GGG is for entirely different and more personal reasons than THAT blog / website / thang.
Much love to you all. x
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