2 posts tagged “conversion”

I'm on a bit of a blogging roll recently; I was going to give it a rest until Illiask brought up something that has always unsettled and baffled me, and I thought my initial ideas about it would find a better resting place on (virtual) paper.

Greeks have always been brought up to be faintly suspicious of Jews. Now, this is a massive generalisation with all the provisos that entails; let's just put those aside for a minute to be re-examined later.

Politically, Greeks don't like Jews. Greece, at risk of losing crucial post-WWII, mid-Civil War* aid that was the only thing preventing many of its citizens starving to death, voted against the creation of the state of Israel. It stood pretty much alone, protesting the arbitrary creation of the state. Now, many Greeks then and now had enormous empathy for the Zionist cause - the need for a homeland is deeply ingrained in the descendants of those held under Ottoman rule for centuries - but the practical ramifications were a step too far. Also, with large expatriate communities in north Africa and the Middle East, there was a sympathy with Arabs and suspicion of the mighty US (if no tolerance of terrorism). My mother, for one, was born in Egypt; her brother was born there on the very day the state of Israel was created!

Although I believe that there is no going back now Israel exists, I rue the way in which it was created. The past is another country, however, and we need to press on to a peaceful future with Israel - there is no future for the region without it. I also can't wait to visit the country; I've been fascinated with it for years.

Greece has a shaky history with its tiny population of Jews. Mark Mazower's phenomenal book, Salonica: City of Ghosts, can explain this much better than I, but in the northern part of Greece relations have been strained since the war. Jews drafted in by the Turks to provide a financial middle class above the Greeks - they were encouraged to come to Greece after being expelled from Iberia - were all but obliterated by the Nazis, with most Greeks doing little to protect them. Salonica had been Greek for only 25 years; the hurt was very much in living memory. Compare the loss of 95% of the Jewish community in Salonica to 50% in Athens, free since the initial declaration of independence in 1821, pretty much. Greeks there protected their community as best they could from the occupying forces. To this day, Jews campaign to have the land around the University of Salonica marked as the site of a former Jewish cemetery but the authorities, embarrassed by the episode where Greeks helped destroy the original grounds, still refuse.

Religiously - well, put it this way. A friend of my mother's has a son who was seeing a Jewish girl for some time. She described it to my mother as "Yes, she is one of those who crucified Christ".  It's a joke, but a painful one.

I think, however, that the problems aren't either of these things really. Going back to those exceptions we put aside, I suspect most modern Greeks barely even know that period of history - I didn't, and I know there are gaping chasms in my knowledge - and would be horrified by it if they did. The political issues are long past the arguing point and into the practical stage. I think the ultimate problem is one of suspicion.

Jews are naturally suspicious of anyone who takes too much of an interest. They've been tortured, killed, discriminated against, targetted and hated for so long, that the rule - spoken and silent - is to stick to one's own. Greeks also do this, but they are slightly offended by anyone who doesn't want to actively "fit in". I see this in my parents, first generation immigrants, who complain when other religious groups don't try to do more to "integrate". It's true my parents both speak and write exemplary English, but as white, Christian Europeans language was pretty much their only integration challenge. It sounds simplistic, but I think Greek discomfort with Jews comes down to not liking the feeling of it being "them" and "us". Judaism is so culturally ingrained as to be treated, thought of, referred to as a race, rather than a religion.

I used to work in a largely Jewish office - guess where I met JB! - and one woman there said to me "if you converted, some people would accept you as a Jew but if Ashley did - well, he'd still always be a Jew". It summed up an awful lot. The same woman told me she felt like her daughter ought to marry a Jew because there were so few left that she felt duty bound to create more. Now, her daughter could marry a gentile and still have Jewish children; the religion is matrilineal, unusually, with some claiming that is because you can deny being a father but not being a mother. The underlying assumption there, though, was even if I converted I wouldn't quite be Jewish. She wasn't criticising us - she's fond of me - she was just speaking her mind. I've got news for her, though - there are as many Greeks in Greece as there are Jews in the world (the rest, the joke goes, are in Melbourne).

The debate on what a Jew is rages in the wake of court cases such as that against JFS, and just the other day JB's mother said she thought the Orthodox conversion process was "too much" - and she's officially Conservative, not Reform or Liberal. I suppose it's somewhat irrelevant to me now I've decided to stay Greek Orthodox, but it's interesting to see that my future children would never have been accepted fully by many Jews anyway. I can understand why and I'm not criticising them for going back to basics, but I suspect it's beliefs and attitudes like this which lead to Greeks - always the quickest to jump to the defensive - to be uneasy with Jews.

By bringing up our future children as both, leaving them to choose which - if any - religion they want to align themselves with as adults, we might not be producing more Jews and more Greek Orthodox people. Hopefully what we will be producing is part of a generation of people who seek the similarities, not the differences.

*No-one I know seems to realise Greece HAD a Civil War - despite Captain Corelli - and that it was particularly bloody and vicious. Perhaps if they did they'd come to understand something about Elia Kazan and 50s Hollywood.

I'm a full time professional blogger. At least, I will be until the end of the month when I shift from technology journalism to web editorial for a charity. I've always, always wanted to work for a charity, and luckily I'll still get to blog some of the time. Everyone at Vox has already succumbed to the sometimes narcissistic, always cathartic nature of the weblog beast, and it's even better to be paid to do it.

Still, the reason for this blog is very different than previous ones. My Livejournal is just for me and my real life, actual, old friends. CultureFootle is to give me practice writing reviews, something I love beyond reason. This is the first time I've come close to unpeeling a layer off myself and exposing the results publicly. Why, after my experiences with YouTube commenters, I still want to do this, I'm not entirely sure.

Why bells? Because I actually started this to talk about wedding bells - mine. JB is planning a proposal but we have already agreed to be married. We've had the oddest route here, through friendship, inappropriate friendship and finally love, but the first months of our relationship were punctuated with arguments and stressful family revelations...

I'll never forget my mother telling me I simply wouldn't be the same person if I converted to Judaism. I had thought I might have to - ultimately it became clear that I was far too much of a GGG to actually give it the proper, sober consideration it needed. I read, I asked questions, I considered, I even keep a (mostly) kosher household to make life easier for JB's friends and family, but in the end the pull of my upbringing was far too strong. It wasn't just the octopus and the magiritsa, or even the intoxicating incense of the church. There was a quite serious point at the heart of it, all about the truths that I feel are right for me in Christianity. But then came the task of convincing JB's parents (who, thankfully, love me) that, if anything, I have pushed him to be a better Jew, not suggesting for a single second that he swing to my "side".

So now I have the complete opposite problem to what I thought I'd started with. Instead of having to painfully deal with family resenting our union, the enthusiasm with which it has been treated has freaked me out! I have names and numbers for liberal rabbis who will conduct blessings for those "marrying out" (how I hate that phrase, but it's a rant for another post), I have suggestions for simcha venues - I even, possibly, have a wedding dress. JB's mum is a beader and has a sample for me to try on if I want to.

We're not formally engaged yet. The date has not been set. I am complaining about something that is so preferable to the alternative but it is frightening. This time two years ago I was convinced that no-one in the world would ever, ever love me. Now I know better but it still feels like I'm writing this about someone else!

In due course this blog will, I'm sure, be filled with questions and pleas for suggestions - for the moment it's an outlet, a record of a dual faith marriage to be, a new way to think about myself.

As for bad titles, well, alliteration is the last refuge of the desperate.